MEN VS WOMEN? MAYBE... Part two

Men versus women, then?

Imagine a November night like any other: a man and a woman are having a night out. They are on their way to the restaurant; he is driving, relaxed. Suddenly a car cut them off; he steers and avoid the crash, unfazed. She screams and this scares him more than the averted crash.

This has nothing to do with steady nerves. Men simply can see better than women in the dark, and they can evaluate speed and distance of moving objects with more precision. These skills are a heritage of those times when males needed to hunt swift preys hidden in dark forests. On the other hand, women can see further, with more details and better colour perception; they developed this abilities searching food such as fruits and berries in the woods. As a consequence, men are less likely to get scared by unforeseen movements, and women prefer to drive in daylight hours.

Another big difference is the way male and female brains orient themselves. A woman, in giving driving directions on the phone, will tell her partner to go straight on up to the supermarket, then turn left; but when it’s her that gets lost and calls him, she will be told to go on northward. He is sure she can’t get it wrong this way, but he doesn’t know that female brains orient themselves through close and familiar spots, such as supermarkets, parking lots or petrol stations. Men orient themselves with cardinal points. This causes quite a lot of confusion when exchanging spatial information!

Even the way we hear is different. Men’s long-range hearing can better perceive far sounds in order to protect their family from wild animals or enemies; women are wired to notice what is happening inside their home and the tiny sounds related to babies’ well-being. Generally speaking, men can hear better than women but can pay attention to one sound at a time only, while women can perceive and take notice of more sounds simultaneously to take care of their children while doing something else. This different approach to sound shows during sexual intercourses too, where women prefer sweet words whispered in their ear while men like louder reactions from their partner.

Of course, masculine features can belong to women and vice versa. There are infinite shades, especially in artistic personalities, in which feminine sensitivity is as fundamental as the masculine determination in achieving one’s goals. Sensibility and strength are both required.

Masculine and feminine traits interact when we produce art, while existing in different proportion in everyone of us. Our differences are what make us unique and keeping that in mind we can easily learn to accept ourselves and each other for what we are.

MEN VS WOMEN? Maybe...

Have you ever asked yourselves why men have always accused women of talking too much, and women have always accused men of being callous? Have you ever thought about where those misunderstandings come from? The answer is in the sex of the brain. Yes, brain has its own sex. Let’s make it clear: people’s brain is rarely completely masculine or feminine. These two characteristics get confused and mixed in every person in a different way, but for simplicity’s sake we will talk of “male brain” as belonging to men and “female brain” to women, keeping in mind that body and brain don’t always match.       

Since the dawn of history, women were responsible of weaving relationships in order to get helpful information for their families. Talking, then, has always been a synonym for surviving. This is why women’s silence, when drawn out, can be a punishment: a woman who doesn’t talk to her partner is uneasy and restless. It’s likely that she’s getting even angrier with every minute of being ignored. This is something useful for men to know, because they are inclined to take the first seven minutes of silence as a reward instead of growing discomfort. On the other hand, women should understand that men’s silence is not a punishment: they’re only being quiet. In fact, men protected their families fighting and hunting: talking was nothing more than a useless waste of energy, especially while building snares and setting traps. Noiselessness, strength and agility were their strong suits. As a consequence, men perceive talking as something dangerous. Over the centuries they’ve learned to hide emotions to better deal with violent assaults. They tend to express themselves with a basic and straightforward language, while women’s is more complex and oblique, since they couldn’t count on physical strength to face their enemies. So, they’ve learned how to gather information from them. This instinct is what let two women keep chatting for hours even if they don’t really get along or like each other.

Such distinctions lead to different ways of dealing with issues. A woman thinks out loud, and she often wants her partner to simply listen and use his logic to support choices already taken by her. She wants validations, such as when she asks her partner which dress she should wear, but she’s already chosen. Women often prefer to minimize a problem by talking about it rather than focusing on solving it, while men try to fix it with the same approach they would use with a broken tool. They go for direct questions, which women find invasive, but they actually aim to find a solution. Men feel useful this way. She’d better not throw away her broken wristwatch before he’s tried to fix it, or he will feel deprived of his role.

Furthermore, men’s logical and emotional brain areas are situated in different hemispheres, while women’s are almost overlapped. This leads to significant consequences:  when a man tells a woman she’s put a piece of furniture together in the wrong way he’s not implying he loves her less, but she will feel less loved all the same.

It would seem, then, that differences between sexes are a real thing. They are rooted in our brain and concern far more than language and expression. Men versus women, then? The answer is in the next post.

TO CULTIVATE THE INTELLECT

It seems that intelligence can be cultivated, just as patience. Especially with the help of music. Various studies and researches demonstrate that music benefits the brain more than many other activities, particularly if approached since childhood. You can either receive a basic music education or master a musical instrument, but it’s important for everyone to get to know music at some point.

Studying music since childhood influences brain flexibility and enhances its development. Young music students won’t necessarily become great musicians, but they will be smarter in more than one way: their logic, language and school marks will improve as well as their social skills and psychological well-being. Playing an instrument involves not only the sense of hearing, but motor coordination too, as well as its integration with visual and auditory stimuli; working with other kids leads to a better understanding of other people’s pace and needs.

Glenn Schellenberg, psychologist at Toronto University, published a research involving 144 children aged six on Psychological Science. They were parted in three groups which were involved in three different kind of activities, respectively music lessons (piano and voice), a theatre course and no creative activity at all. They took an intelligence test both before and after the research period, and the results showed that the IQ of the children that received music lessons had increased more than other children’s. Other experiments of this kind have led to the same conclusions: pupils who attend schools where music is regularly taught have better average marks and less behavioural issues.

Studies demonstrate that the best results are achieved when starting before the age of nine, but they suggest all the same that is never too late to learn how to play an instrument. Instead, the length of the training period seems to be crucial: ten years is the estimated basic time. However, the benefits of music are not strictly related to prolonged activity: they won’t get lost or forgotten with time, but last in the long run, opposing and reducing the effects of cognitive decline or preventing it altogether. Elderly people can only benefit from keeping playing music.

It seems, then, that music can be more than a simple hobby or even profession. Unfortunately, a thorough music education is often granted to talented children only, forgetting that we don’t all have to become orchestra conductors to benefit from it.

WHY SING IN A CHOIR

By Marco Roncaglia

There isn’t only one answer to this question, since everyone is driven by different reasons, but in my thirty years’ experience I found a couple of them that seem to be common, at least at the beginning. Most people wish to share an enjoyable repertoire (popular, classical, gospel or anything else) and explore their vocal potential.

What happens next depends strictly on the relationship each member establishes both with their fellow choristers and with the director. As time goes by, these interactions form the group’s character, influencing performing choices as well. That’s why it’s immensely important to choose a course of action capable of balancing musical and human aspects.

In decades of choir activity I have become acquainted with countless voice techniques, I have joined different school of thought about directors’ role, I have tried out different approaches to music making. As a result, I can vouch for the success of the Modai method over the others in developing a voice free of any constraint or effort, and in favouring the blossoming of a great harmony between members, director included. The resulting situation has highly beneficial consequences. As a member of the choir I’m directing said: “this approach to singing wipes away any rivalry between us, we all feel we are doing well, even if we are just doing what we can”. Competition is not bad itself: it often becomes a strong drive to improve, both for the single member and the whole group, but it can be dangerous and downright destructive if it arouses envy and resentment among them.

In my opinion, harmony among the members, director included, is the most important premise to make high quality music, capable of involving the audience regardless of the chosen repertoire. The fascinating exploration of senses and emotions, and of biology and physiology which are related as well, benefits the choir both from a musical and a human point of view, creating the best conditions for it to work.

In this way, singing will mean bringing the musical sheet to life every single time. It will make it vibrant and human and therefore captivating both for the singers and for the audience.